


House Hunting

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [67]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, House Hunting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 03:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8148446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: johnn: and today alex fucked up by falling in love with a 2 million dollar houselaf: oh my god





	

**johnn** : and today alex fucked up by falling in love with a 2 million dollar house  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**little** **lion** : I THOUGHT SHE SAID THAT IT WAS 2000 DOLLARS A MONTH  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ALE X  
  
**little lion** : IT HAD A REALLY BIG BATHTUB  
  
**little lion** : LIKE A POOL SIZED BATHTUB  
  
**johnn** : NO  
  
**little** **lion** : BUT JO HN  
  
**johnn** : WE CANT A FF OR D IT  
  
**little lion** : WE CAN GET A LOAN  
  
**laf** : idk how loans work but I'm pretty sure its not like that  
  
**johnn** : WHAT WOULD BE THE COLLATERAL JUST CURIOUS  
  
**little lion** : HOW MUCH IS OUR CAR WORTH  
  
**johnn** : N O  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WE NEED OUR CAR  
  
**little lion** : 3/10  
  
**johnn** : ALSO TECHNICALLY ITS NOT EVEN OUR CAR ITS LAF'S  
  
**laf** : it's also seven years old and has enough miles on it to travel around the world at the equator  
  
**little lion** : this is so rude  
  
**laf** : also why are you house hunting without us tf  
  
**johnn** : as soon as we were out of bed you and hercules just kind of rolled towards each other and started cuddling so we didn't want to wake you bc you looked so cute  
  
**laf** : aw okay you're forgiven  
  
**little lion** : <3 <3 <3  
  
**johnn** : do you want to come with us to the next one??  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**johnn** : alex is dressed really fancy tho so like wait until we come up  
  
**laf** : oh god I'm afraid  
  
**johnn** : you should be  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : what the fuck  
  
**johnn** : RIGHT  
  
**laf** : SINCE WHEN HAS ALEX OWNED POCKET SQUARES  
  
**little lion** : I CAN BE HOT WHEN I WANT TO BE  
  
**laf** : YOURE ALWAYS HOT  
  
**laf** : THIS IS JUST A SUBCATEGORY OF THAT  
  
**laf** : WITH POCKET SQUARES  
  
**laf** : AND MATCHING SOCKS  
  
**little lion** : I  
  
**laf** : WHY TF DO YOU HAVE ME PICK OUT YOUR CLOTHES WHEN WE'RE COLOR COORDINATING WHEN YOU CAN DO THIS  
  
**little lion** : bc you look cute doing it and I'm not good at it when it comes to like four outfits  
  
**laf** : how do I look cute while picking out clothes  
  
**little lion** : you like pull me into our room and have me sit on our bed while you go through our closet and then you make me give the outfits you pick out a rating out of 10  
  
**little lion** : plus you kiss me a lot which is always cute  
  
**laf** : omg  
  
**laf** : wait I have to coordinate with this now  
  
**laf** : so do you hercules  
  
**more like HUNKules** : the fact that we have enough clothing to always match each other worries me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : what's our color scheme  
  
**laf** : it's like navy blue and pink  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh wait I have a shirt for that  
  
**johnn** : I'm wearing blue please do not clash with me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I still have a shirt for that  
  
**laf** : I have multiple things for this  
  
**laf** : is it too late in the year to wear sun hats  
  
**johnn** : yes and also it's raining  
  
**laf** : I'm wearing it anyway  
  
**johnn** : of course  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : FUCK YOU  
  
**more like HUNKules** : IM SO RR Y  
  
**laf** : WHAT HAPPENED  
  
**little lion** : me and hercules are very pretty and john can't handle it  
  
**johnn** : I REALLY CANT  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**johnn** : IM PUTTING ON SUSPENDERS FOR THIS FUCK YOU GUYS  
  
**laf** : oh dear god  
  
**little lion** : we're dead  
  
**more like HUNKules** : bye kids it's been fun  
  
**johnn** : HA  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : john comes out in suspenders and the moment I think my heart is about to slow down to its normal pace lafayette comes out looking like a fucking deity  
  
**laf** : thank you  
  
**little lion** : fucking sunglasses and it's raining  
  
**laf** : don't act like you don't love it  
  
**little lion** : more than anything  
  
**little lion** : also where did you get that dress I've never seen it before  
  
**laf** : I don't remember but it's very soft  
  
**little lion** : oh my god  
  
**laf** : to be fair this is reaction we had to you in that suit  
  
**little lion** : BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT  
  
**laf** : not one bit  
  
**johnn** : stop looking at each other from across the room like that we have twenty minutes before we have to be at the next apartment and it's a ten minute drive  
  
**little lion** : do you know where it is  
  
**johnn** : yes I looked at your folder  
  
**little lion** : wanna drive there  
  
**johnn** : so you can make out with lafayette in the backseat?  
  
**little lion** : yes  
  
**johnn** : nope  
  
**little lion** : RUDE  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : tbh tho we all look so good I'm crying  
  
**laf** : rt  
  
**johnn** : you don't get to rt when you and hercules are making out in the backseat  
  
**johnn** : speaking of are you buckled  
  
**johnn** : idk how you could kiss in that position while you're buckled  
  
**laf** : we are we're just very flexible  
  
**johnn** : omg  
  
**more like HUNKules** : can we go back to kissing bc yes this is important !!yay car safety!! but lafayette is beautiful and their lips are very soft and I love them and I think I might actually die if you decide to continue this conversation  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**laf** : also I love you too  
  
**johnn** : R U D E  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : house 1 thoughts??  
  
**little lion** : too small  
  
**laf** : what part  
  
**little lion** : all of it  
  
**johnn** : rt  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rt the oven was the size of a thumbtack and I plan to bake in this apartment  
  
**johnn** : WAIT REALLY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : YES  
  
**johnn** : YAY!!  
  
**laf** : also there were no closets in it???  
  
**little lion** : TRUE I NEED A CLOSET  
  
**little lion** : LIKE AT LEAST ONE  
  
**laf** : so that's a no on house one??  
  
**little lion** : ye  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yes  
  
**johnn** : yES  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH LAFAYETTE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : N O  
  
**little lion** : >:^((((((  
  
**johnn** : YOU GOT TO ON THE WAY HERE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : EXACTLY WHICH IS WHY I WANT TO CONTINUE WHAT I STARTED  
  
**johnn** : FUCK YOU  
  
**laf** : uhm yes hello??  
  
**laf** : do I get a say in this matter??  
  
**johnn** : yes of course sorry love  
  
**more like HUNKules** : sorry  
  
**laf** : okay well yes my lipstick is completely gone and I just put it back on so we're waiting for it to dry before aNYTHING ELSE  
  
**little lion** : YES  
  
**little lion** : SUFFER WITH ME  
  
**laf** : I'm blushing so hard literally End It  
  
**johnn** : we are like this all the time what are you talking about  
  
**laf** : not all the time  
  
**little lion** : it's all the time  
  
**more like HUNKules** : literally  
  
**laf** : omg  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ONTO HOUSE TWO  
  
**johnn** : LETS GOOOO  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : HOUSE TWO WAS CUTE  
  
**laf** : I LIKED IT  
  
**johnn** : it literally looks exactly like our apartment now but with a dining room  
  
**laf** : holy shit wait  
  
**johnn** : YEAH  
  
**little lion** : OH MY GOD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : DID YOU NOT REALIZE THAT  
  
**little lion** : N O  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**laf** : IM SCREAMING HOW DID WE NOT SEE THAT  
  
**little lion** : LETS JUST GO TO HOUSE THREE I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS  
  
**laf** : OKAY  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : holy shit  
  
**laf** : I'm sold  
  
**johnn** : ITS SO PRETTY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : THIS IS ONLY THE THIRD H  
  
**more like HUNKules** : that's all I got to type out before I actually saw it  
  
**more like HUNKules** : woah  
  
**little lion** : IM IN LOVE  
  
**laf** : SAME  
  
**johnn** : SAME  
  
**laf** : THIS IS LITERALLY JSUT LIKE LAST TIME WE LOOKED AT ONE FUCKING HOUSE AND THEN MOVED INTO IT  
  
**little lion** : BUT THIS ONE HAS WIDE WINDOWS  
  
**johnn** : WITH A VIEW SO BEAUTIFUL THE ONLY THING THAT BEATS IT OUT IS THE PEOPLE THAT ARE GOING TO MOVE INTO IT  
  
**laf** : aw  
  
**johnn** : BREAKFAST BAR!!  
  
**little lion** : OPEN FLOOR PLAN!!!  
  
**johnn** : A HALLWAY CLOSET THAT WE CAN STUFF ALL OF OUR SHIT IN!!  
  
**little lion** : a place for an actual dining table!!!!  
  
**johnn:** I KNWOW LOOK AT IT WE COULD TOTALLY FIT 14 PEOPLE IN THSI SPACE  
  
**laf** : IM SOBBING SO HARD THE CEILINGS ARE SO HIGH  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I WANT IT  
  
**little lion** : WE HAVENT EVEN LOOKED IN THE ROOMS YET  
  
**laf** : OH GOD  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : there are,,,,so many bedrooms in this house  
  
**little lion** : I know!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : how many are there  
  
**little lion** : four including our own  
  
**more like HUNKules** : why  
  
**little lion** : bc like  
  
**little lion** : we talked abt having kids and I imagine that whatever house we move into is the house we plan to raise them in bc like  
  
**little lion** : once we move we're not doing it again for at least five years it's just not happening  
  
**little lion** : so when we do have kids we're gonna need somewhere to put them  
  
**more like HUNKules** : omg  
  
**more like HUNKules** : """somewhere to put them"""  
  
**more like HUNKules** : like I understand what you mean but like,,,still  
  
**little lion** : also what are you doing in one of the rooms by yourself  
  
**more like HUNKules** : crying  
  
**little lion** : wAIT WHAT  
  
**little lion** : BABE  
  
**little lion** : WHY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : idk it's like,,,,,,,it's been four years and we're still together?? like of course we are I love you all more than anything I haven't stopped doing that since even before we got together and I am so happy rn that we're still together but also like,,,,  
  
**little lion** : ??  
  
**more like HUNKules:** nvm it's stupid  
  
**little lion** : you could never be stupid  
  
**more like HUNKules** : it's just  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I wasn't here  
  
**more like HUNKules** : the first or second time you were looking for apartments and now I am and we're all here  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and like the kid who met alex in a bar six years ago  
  
**more like HUNKules** : would have NEVER guessed that he would be standing in the middle of a room texting the three loves of his life while we look at apartments together  
  
**more like HUNKules** : and we're engaged and we have matching tattoos and we've come so far from then and we still have so many more places to go and fuck I just love you all sO MUCH sorry sorry  
  
**little lion** : HERCULES OH MY GOD YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SORRY WE LOVE YOU TOO  
  
**laf** : HER CULES  
  
**johnn** : WERE COMING IN  
  
**more like HUNKules** : how do you already know where I am  
  
**laf** : we've pretty much all decided that this is the house we're moving in to we know the floor plan already  
  
**little lion** : idk I still think the first house we looked at was pretty nice tbh  
  
**johnn** : TWO  
  
**johnn** : MILLION  
  
**johnn** : DOLLARS  
  
**little lion** : F I N E  
  
**laf** : in all honesty tho hercules we love you and we're so happy that we get to live our lives with you  
  
**johnn** : and we're excited to continue to live our lives with you no matter what may happen  
  
**more like HUNKules** : fuck I love you guys too  
  
**laf** : !!!  
  
**little lion** : also you haven't even seen the master bedroom!!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ,,,,,is this not it???  
  
**little lion** : NOPE!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh god  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : THIS IS HU G E  
  
**little lion** : ITS ON ITS OWN FLOOR  
  
**laf** : IT HAS ITS OWN BALCONY  
  
**johnn** : AND ITS OWN BATHROOM  
  
**little lion** : WITH A HUGE FUCKING BATHTUB  
  
**more like HUNKules** : but also a glass shower can I handle that  
  
**laf** : I CAN  
  
**little lion** : and today on alex loves his spouses even tho they're trying to kill him  
  
**laf** : oh hush we'd be dying just as much

 **little lion:** ;^)))) we could always die over each other at the same time  ;^)))  
  
**laf** : ;^)))))  
  
**johnn** : THERES A WALK IN CL OS E T  
  
**laf** : REALLY  
  
**john:** Y E S  
  
**laf:** IM IN HE A VE N  
  
**little lion:** IF WE HAVE MORE CLOSET ROOM DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS  
  
**more like HUNKules:** nO  
  
**laf** : MORE CLOTHES??  
  
**little lion** : M O R E  C L O T H E S  
  
**johnn** : I THINK ITS PERFECT AND THAT WE SHOULD MOVE IN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE  
  
**laf** : when would be the earliest we could move in by  
  
**little lion** : OH THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS  
  
**little lion** : THE FIRST DAY WE WOULD BE ABLE TO MOVE IN BY IS THE FIRST OF NOVEMBER  
  
**laf** : OMG  
  
**johnn** : WE'RE GETTING THIS APARTMENT ILL FIGHT FOR IT  
  
**little lion** : IM SO HAPPY  
  
**johnn** : SAME  
  
**more like HUNKules** : SAME  
  
**laf** : RT  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : what do we do now that we have an apartment  
  
**little lion** : well I mean I have to cancel 17 other house viewing things  
  
**johnn** : oh my god alex  
  
**laf** : we should go on a date  
  
**laf** : to celebrate!!  
  
**johnn** : I feel like we should go to somewhere other than olive garden  
  
**little lion** : I wanna stay inside tho  
  
**laf** : we can have a date inside  
  
**johnn** : true  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm down  
  
**little lion** : yay!! what are we doing  
  
**little lion** : chinese food!!  
  
**johnn** : we can watch stuff on our netflix list that we've been meaning to get through!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : yes!!  
  
**laf** : pull out couch!! pull out couch!!  
  
**little lion** : let's set it up!!  
  
**laf** : yay!!  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : okay right so,,,,,,  
  
**laf** : there's no dress code for this date obviously,,,,,,,,,  
  
**laf** : but how much would you scream if I dressed up for it  
  
**johnn** : define dressed up  
  
**laf** : silk  
  
**johnn** : ,,,,,,,depends what it is  
  
**laf** : like a nightgown??  
  
**laf:** I feel like nightgowns are supposed to be long tho hence the gown part  
  
**laf** : this isn't long,,,at all  
  
**laf** : it's also like completely sheer if I'm being honest  
  
**johnn** : I am in public and not having this conversation  
  
**little lion** : WAIT IF LAF IS DRESSING UP SO AM I  
  
**johnn** : me too I guess??? when I get home tho  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I don't have cute sleeping clothes tf  
  
**johnn** : neither do I but you have many shirts and I plan to steal   
  
**more like HUNKules** : am I going to survive this date  
  
**johnn** : no  
  
**more like HUNKules** : thanks  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : wait it's only like noon why are we having this date now  
  
**laf** : bc we love each other a lot and want to be with each other for as long as possible  
  
**little lion** : right  
  
**little lion** : I love you  
  
**laf** : I love you too  
  
**johnn** : hercules wants to know if you two are dressed rn bc if yes he has to emotionally prepare  
  
**laf** : yes  
  
**johnn** : oh god  
  
**laf** : come home to us and you'll see~~  
  
**johnn** : herCULES IS ALREADY TRYING NOT TO SPEED DONT DO THSI  
  
**laf** : you don't have to read this out loud to him  
  
**johnn** : but he likes knowing what's going on  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : weRE HOME WE ARE RU NNING IN  
  
**laf** : omg  
  
**johnn** : IM SCREAMING  
  
**laf** : O M G  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : see I went for casual and laf went for,,,,,,,person who just killed their rich husband and is coming out to talk to the police using statements they've been practicing for years in the mirror of their diamond encrusted vanity to the point where them being found guilty is p much impossible both bc of that and the fact that the police and the jury and the judge and everyone else on the case falls in love with them on sight  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
**johnn** : tag yourself I'm the husband  
  
**laf** : I'm everyone else on the case  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm the statements  
  
**johnn** : also under no circumstances are the garter belt and purple striped robe combo casual you just like hurting us  
  
**little lion** : it's comfy tho  
  
**johnn** : you're so beautiful  
  
**little lion** : JOHN  
  
**johnn** : ITS TRUE  
  
**little lion** : IM ON F IR E  
  
**johnn** : one of the most beautiful people I've ever known  
  
**little lion** : EN D IT  
  
**little lion** : END M E  
  
**johnn** : I WOULD NEVER  
  
**little lion** : AH  
  
**laf** : this is so cute  
  
**little lion** : HSHU  
  
**laf** : hA  
  
**more like HUNKules** : in all honesty tho you are stunning  
  
**laf** : rt  
  
**little lion** : sTOP IT  
  
**laf** : WERE NOT LYING  
  
**little lion** : 5/10  
  
**laf** : that's higher than usual  
  
**little lion** : I think it's bc you all like the garter belt sm that you think I look cuter  
  
**johnn** : I think it's bc we love you sm  
  
**little lion** : I love you too but at the same time   
  
**laf** : :^(((  
  
**little lion** : ://  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I call cuddling alex  
  
**laf** : @@@john it's me and you babe   
  
**johnn** : we have to eat first  
  
**laf** : right right  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : we totally forgot to cry abt laf  
  
**laf** : it's not necessary  
  
**johnn:** BUT B A B E  
  
**johnn** : YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING V I SI ON  
  
**laf** : omg  
  
**more like HUNKules** : RT LIKE FUCK YOURE GORGEOUS  
  
**little lion** : LITERALLY IM S C R E AM I N G  
  
**laf** : I JUST WANTED TO EAT  
  
**johnn:** us too but there's always desert ;^)))  
  
**laf:** I'm never sleeping with you again  
  
**johnn** : :^((((  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : also where did you get a silk nightgown in the first place  
  
**laf** : I've had this for a while but I needed a time to wear it and what better time than this  
  
**more like HUNKules** : a million better times than this my jaw is still on the floor  
  
**laf** : if you're ded @this you just see what I have planned for when we move  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh god  
  
**little lion** : AND TODAY  
  
**little lion** : ON ALEX LOVES HIS SPOUSES EVEN THO THEYRE TRYING TO KILL HIM  
  
**laf** : H A  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : okay so I'm thinkin abt how we're laying rn  
  
**laf** : what about it  
  
**johnn** : like I would love to be tall  
  
**johnn** : but at the same time I wouldn't want to sleep on the outside of our bed  
  
**johnn** : or the pull out couch in this sense  
  
**laf** : bc you're the little spoon and you're used to it  
  
**laf** : but like if we met and you were taller then you would be like yeah okay  
  
**johnn** : do you ever want to be the little spoon  
  
**laf** : not really  
  
**laf** : if I do hercules is always there  
  
**johnn** : what if hercules wants to be the little spoon omg :^(((  
  
**laf** : then he's the little spoon and I get to kiss his shoulders and he can't say anything abt it  
  
**johnn** : wait tf have I been deprived of seeing this  
  
**laf** : it doesn't happen a lot but yeah p much  
  
**johnn** : rUDE  
  
**johnn** : do you ever want to sleep on the inside of our bed  
  
**laf** : no  
  
**laf** : I like the dynamic we've all created and I don't want to change it  
  
**laf** : the dynamic will change as we do and that is something I accept and expect to happen as time goes on but other than that I'm leavin it alone  
  
**johnn** : aw  
  
**johnn** : if you ever want to tho I'm willing to switch  
  
**little lion** : rt  
  
**laf** : I'm fine  
  
**more like HUNKules** : being on the outside means we get to cuddle you like why would we want to change that  
  
**johnn** : aw hercules <3  
  
**johnn** : I love you all sm  
  
**laf** : we love you too!!  
  
**little lion** : love you too john!!  
  
**more like HUNKules** : love you!!  
  
**johnn** : AH

**Author's Note:**

> does this even make sense?? who knows??


End file.
